On top of relationship drama I’ve been dealing with, my grandmother passed away unexpectedly Wednesday. I did a tarot reading using the Holy Light deck the day of her scare and it predicted death. This is one reason why I sometimes don’t like doing divination because I read things that sometimes I wish I didn’t need read and now I’m wondering if I could’ve made her live a little longer – somehow; that’s what’s haunting me right now. I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way, but.. I didn’t acknowledge it at the time because usually we’re taught that the death card doesn’t usually represent death (unless it is in the right situation, the right time, etc)… I looked at the reading and thought, A death is something I can’t deal with right now and I hope to God that reading is wrong. Well it was right. So I am going to play my harp at the funeral tomorrow I will be playing Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring by Bach actually it’ll be a arrangement I did for the harp nothing too fancy just the lower octave strain coupled with arpeggios and the refrain…

But all that’s going through my head, is… when will all this bad luck end? Constantly being rejected from potential employers, and the confusion, hurt, stress and anxiety I’ve been dealing with not knowing where I stand in a relationship and now a death… seriously life can’t you be a bit more kind to me?