All posts by Kristi

Kristi Beisecker is a graphic designer, photographer, printmaker and alternative scientist whose interested in making images through two contrasting elements. She is also a blogger in lifestyle, travel, wellness and health, art and design, beauty and fashion.

Phew!

Well I might be able to get some kind of a break soon. But considering I’m taking 2 photography classes, my available time is very limited these days. The epic honors poster project is over and completed with very little hassle this year. There was some drama but it has been put to rest. Phew!

In my historic photo processes 2 class (or as the department says, Alternative Photography 1) I am doing two processes. The kirlian process that uses high voltage to photograph the energetic pattern of an object and anthotypes that use the chlorophyll in plants to make an image. The anthotypes I might end up doing towards the end of the semester just because it needs live material to make it work and its winter right now.

My other photography class is just an intro to traditional black and white photography. Its been going well so far just been a bit frustrating getting the focus right.

I haven’t really had all too much time to do a whole lot of new research but I have been conceptualizing about a huge project I’ve been dreaming about for months. This project I am serious about doing and hope to work on once I graduate in my free time. One of the things I loved about learning in college was learning the processes and thinking behind projects we do here. As a kid my projects never turned out the way I imagined because I never had a good process for them. I also love that I see Design principles in every day life. It makes it easy for me to connect what I am learning in college to things in every day life.

Last evening I was in the graphics lab finishing up honors and I was looking on my external hard drive for photos for my historic processes class and I found an old document on the Sumerian language stored on there. Don’t ask me where I found this. Probably in on of my research expeditions. But, boy, is the Sumerian language complex. Every letter and vowel is an actual word or phrase in the language, differentiated by an accent to mean something else entirely! Yikes. But I learned how to say, “Hello my name is Kristi” in Sumerian. Silim, mu šè Kristi. Which really means, “Hello, Call me Kristi.”

Death – Ghost Rider

Lately I’ve been doing tarot studies regarding various events that’s happened since the start of the semester. And I just want to say that when the Death card came up in my readings I couldn’t get the image of Ghost Rider out of my mind. It just seemed a too perfect archetype for the events.

I saw this movie on a date in High School and completely forgot about it until now. Ghost Rider is “based on the Marvel character, stunt motorcyclist Johnny Blaze gives up his soul to become a hellblazing vigilante, to fight against power hungry Blackheart, the son of the devil himself” (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0259324/). I suppose the image of the skeleton on the Medieval Scapini card triggered the image of Ghost Rider since he is riding a skeleton of some animal whatever it may have been. Looks snake like.. anyway, during the reading there was absolutely NO way for me to have really understood what this card was trying to tell me. Because the divinary meaning of this card is the End of a Cycle, not necessarily death itself. Its been known to predict spiritual transformations. Though, that doesn’t mean that the mundane meaning of the card should not be forgotten. Its just very RARE that tarot cards are literal. Tarot is the language of the mind, the archetypal mind and the reason why they work as a divinary system is that we all wonder through life via our consciousness and subconsciousness, so archetypal events and images are bound to make an appearance. Its been said that everything we experience that we consider to be the Manifest world is actually an illusion, something that our minds conjure up. In hypnosis studies its been said that we appear to have a collective agreement to be here in this physical world So everything that happens in life as mere events is part of the subconscious and is a reflection of it.

Sad Week

For some reason the events of last weekend have struck me differently than I think I expected. They have reactivated some of the days during high school when whenever the vice principle announced the death of a fellow student due to suicide. One day, once a year in high school we learned about a death of a fellow student. Those memories came back and hit me like a brick when I heard about Kirsli’s tragedy. The feelings of being shocked and the sadness; feelings of confusion and feeling a bit lost.

Its the same kind of emotions I think. While a fatal accident is not the same as a suicide, the emotions created from such an sudden event are the same I think. While I never was friends with any of the people who committed suicide, it affected the people around me.

One kind of lives in a bubble and they go through life thinking that how can anything puncture that perfect bubble that they have built around themselves. And then something so sudden such as a suicide or fatal accident pops that bubble and shakes and shatters the very foundation of your life. I know, I’ve seen it; several times before. Its not pretty and its very difficult.
 

Student Union Internship

So because the academic administration messed up my senior year, I was forced to do an on campus internship. I live six hours away from school and I don’t have a car on campus cause it costs like $230 a year for a parking pass. I wasn’t planning on coming back senior spring semester so I didn’t buy a parking pass. Now I’m back, and really don’t mind being back, but at the same time I could be doing an off campus internship somewhere.

Anyway, I decided to do an on campus internship because A) I needed courses to be considered a full time student and since I basically took everything I’m doing this internship and 2 photo classes. B) To brush up my skills even more…

So one of the things I’m working on is doing graphics for an event that the Student Union here is putting on. This year is its’ 50th anniversary. They are celebrating by having a 60’s themed event since it was built in the 60’s. I was like, “Oh great. 60’s so over done…” so since its in March I decided to go with the flower power kind of theme.

I’m hoping to do a more fulfilling internship during the summer somewhere if I don’t get a job right away.

Yay new semester!

So, its a new semester and lots has happened since jan 10!

I took my French CLEP exam and missed it by 4 points so I have ended up signing up for French III which I haven’t been too happy about as I’ve got my senior art stuff to focus on. 

I’m still fighting to get the credit transferred and there’s a big possibility that my Umass professor may just up the grade so it will get transferred over.

And so now I am having my hypothyroid medication adjusted and they doubled it. So I’m like wired without having caffeine. Its a weird feeling. Anyway, also been experiencing a bit of a second spiritual awakening (lol) as everything I thought was normal with me has been a slow on coming symptom of low hypothyroidism and who knows how long this has been going on for. As long as I’ve been alive possibly.

Stupid low hypothyroid messing up my childhood … heh…

Anyway, perhaps I’ll lead a relatively normal adult life now that I’ve got energy and my brain back. It causes mental dullness/confusion so it may or may not have caused my supposed mental disability (!) I don’t know…. I don’t know anything anymore about myself…

I’m excited to switch my focus a bit more to my photography classes though it seems that I have a nice balance of photography and graphic design stuff to do this semester. I’m excited especially with this new found energy…

I also figured out a way to make that visual language I had in mind. Just gotta figure out how to do it.

Triangle  represents Fire , passion,  meditate on this symbol  to intensify and clarify desire, creativity, prosperity, magnetism and  to develop the right brain .

Circle represents Air , thought, and is used  to enhance ones ability to visualize and discriminate. Meditation on circles activates the subconscious mind brings about greater ability to discriminate ,concentrate and communicate.

Moon represents Water ,  this symbol increases the ability to feel , meditation with this form can bring greater self reflection sensitivity and receptivity toward others.

Squares represent Earth, focus and determination , diversity , inner strength  enhances the ability to move from dreams to reality.

Ovoid or ellipse represents  space, the void , the universe , the womb, the cosmic egg ,new life ,understanding , female or yin energy.

Primary Colors:
Yellow
Blue
Red


Secondary Colors:
Orange
Green
Indigo


Tertiary Colors:
Yellow orange
Yellow Green
Magenta
Violet
Teal
Red Orange

 
  Figure out the overall main theme of the story/phrase/piece of writing.
Find appropriate shape. Determine color. Primary = positive Secondary = negative Tertiary = neutral, maybe, etc

Tattwas – Sanskrit language of shapes and designs

My current inspiration is the Tattwas:

Tattwa are geometric images from India. they are  symbols  that can be used in mandala.  One of the most traditional symbol sets and one considered to have innate power to effect realization is by using  Tattwa. These simple geometric symbols can be used in  meditation.

 Tattwa is a Sanskrit word meaning energy. Tattwas are  five geometric symbols which represent the five universal energies.  Each Tattwas symbolizes unique energies with specific properties, potentials and frequencies. In varying combinations, these five energies make up the sum totality of everything in our physical and spiritual universe. These five basic symbols are combined to create symbols of many different kinds.
 The  tattwa symbols are the ovoid, the triangle, the half-moon, the circle, and the square. These definitions are minimal and in no way represent the totality of the symbol.  Source: http://pjentoft.com/on-Tattwa.html

These would make an interesting language. For example the Circle represents air, and we could have all words associated with the element of air. The prominent shape in the mandala would represent the main theme of what is being expressed. So if we are talking about miscommunication, we would probably have a large circle, in orange. As that is the complimentary color of blue (opposite). So a plain orange circle would mean no communication.

If we were talking about something about selling something like a house, the prominent shape would be yellow square it is represents Earth. Earth is all things materialistic. It would be paired with a smaller blue circle since blue circles represent thought and communication, etc.

They [the shapes] would be layered on top of each other above to create a geometrical story…

Receiving Money in Dream

So before I went to sleep last night I told myself I’d remember my dreams (I usually don’t) and upon waking I remembered my dream! Anyway, in this dream I was at a bus stop (it felt like a bus stop in Bethlehem, PA) and this middle aged lady came up to me with a square salmon colored box and said, “This is for you”. Inside was a fortune cookie sized piece of paper that said, $11,1111 (yes it was written like this not $11,111). Then this lady and I went inside a building to discuss what to do with it. I decided to invest 2k and put the rest into a separate bank account.

According to Qabbalah, 11 is the number of Death, but that doesn’t necessarily mean physical death. In tarot the Death card usually indicates the end/beginning of some kind of change, or transition. If I took 11,111 and translated it into binary it would look something like this; “01101111” which in an alphabet>binary code translator would be the letter “O”. From Qabbalah “The letter O is the All Seeing Eye concept”.

The Salmon color is a cousin of the primary color orange

salmon

Primary dream symbol: orange
The color orange can represent:

  • Bold, outgoing, assertive, invigorated
  • Autumn, or the “winding down” of a phase or cycle

Source: http://www.thecuriousdreamer.com/dreamdictionary/symbol_alt/5004/

Squares often represent a point of rest, a time needing to be spent alone. In tarot, the number 4 is often represented as this. 4 would be the number to mathematically construct a square. Since the box is a material item, I would associate the salmon color box with the 4/Pentacles tarot card.

4/Pents represents the following in a reading:

  • 4P shows a woman shutting herself inside her home because she needs to be alone and sheltered
  • means to “hold tight”, or stay in a holding pattern- not to take precipitate action.

Source: http://www.tarotforum.net/library/8/2003-04/4-of-pentacles-20030414.shtml

  • “Hold on to your dreams, but be open and flexible and give them the energy they need to develop”. 
  • One interpretation I really like is this:
    • Sacred Space
      Sometimes I think of the 4 of Coins as a Cathedral, instead of a castle/prison. When I was a student (in a previous century), I took a course in “Geography” (it was more like anthropology). We read Mircea Eliade, and learned about the symbolism of human structures. If I recall anything through the dingy, cobwebbed recesses of memory, — in ancient societies, the four walls necessarily created “sacred” space. Outside the four walls, was chaos, wilderness. Within the four walls was a place for God. Source: http://www.tarotforum.net/library/8/2004-01/four-of-pentacles-20040127.shtml 

The sacred space interpretation seems to really fit with the whole box thing containing the message, $11,1111. Even the dollar sign on the keyboard is the number 4. Especially if the $11,111 translates to 01101111 to mean “O” or the all-seeing eye God concept. Its’ almost as if I am being handed the all seeing eye…

The middle aged lady if I remember right had an emerald green jacket and thin, short curly strawberry blonde hair. Although these details are fuzzy, so they aren’t too important. Sometimes in dreams middle aged women may be a reflection of the dreamer in a ‘future’ state. As in the Maiden, Mother and Crone? Perhaps some future state of myself I will be receiving the all-seeing eye, becoming enlightened? Or perhaps I won’t be fully enlightened until I am a mother or middle aged?

Money doesn’t necessarily mean money in dreams, especially since I wasn’t handed actual cash or a check. The money that was discussed was almost illusory because no actual check or cash was presented. This may be a stretch but 2,000 may be the number of years it took for my spirit to become enlightened? If we’re implying that the illusory money given to me is spiritual enlightenment, investing 2k could be considered that my soul has invest 2,000 ‘dollars’ of this spiritual dough. And since I put that 2k in the bank, I’ve got $9k to go or 9,1111 years to go. Perhaps though originally since I interpreted 11,1111 as a binary code; 9,1111 may be also another code. You know, if you take a closer look at 9,1111 it is 9/11/11. Which would be September 11, 2011, last year. Or if you add the elevens in such a way that you get number 4 (again, 1+1+1+1). Who knows! The later of this may be a bit abstract for this though, the spiritual dough seems to apply to this better than the numerology presented at the end.

Heck, I certainly hope it won’t take 9,1111 more years for my soul to develop!

I decided to google the number “9.1111” and this came up as the first entry:

9/1111 Gold Coast Highway, Palm Beach, Qld 4221

Interesting that the street of the address is “Gold Coast”? As gold has often been associated with spiritual enlightenment.

Finally!!

So I have finally time to sit down and write a decent post. Been awhile.
What’s happened this month? A LOT.

The week after thanksgiving I began to feel sick. Loss of appetite, extreme weakness and fatigue. I had it for the entire week and went to the health center by Friday. They tell me that I have Viral syndrome basically a virus that hasn’t manifested yet and told me to sleep and rest over the weekend. Well I did that, and kind of got better, but it didn’t really go away. While I was at the health center I made an appointment with the doctor for Monday. Monday I go see him and he tells me its anxiety and then tells me I should go to the hospital Tuesday morning to get an AKG, heart monitor and bloodwork done. I flipped out since this was now during the final week of classes and for me, all of my art finals happened in about a span of a week.

I broke down at the health center cause I could not deal with something like that. I don’t know the area of Bethlehem all too well, since I don’t have a car, my travel distance is kind of limited to the campus distance. I had a whole bunch of projects to do in a span of five days since that monday and it wasn’t that I didn’t feel like I could not do them, it was my sickness stressing me out even more because I had no strength to work on them. Bad day that monday? Yes.

My portfolio seminar class was supposed to go and have a book making workshop that afternoon but thankfully it got moved. But I couldn’t make any decisions myself since I had pretty much lost my mind. I went to my prof for that class and got a bit of an extension and found out that our final critique time wasn’t until Tuesday of finals week. Phew, I’ve got the weekend to work on the book.

I decided not to go to most of my classes that week, since I had no strength whatsoever. I ended up not going to the hospital since I couldn’t think straight and really didn’t have the time during an already crunched schedule, so I waited until I got home.

I finished my art finals and studied for my sociology final which I got a B- on. But then I was handed back a book review and was accused of plagiarizing that paper!! FOR REAL. As a hobby researcher I should know better than NOT to plagiarize! I got an F for the assignment but not a Zero, but anyway, I didn’t get another F because it was combined with a presentation that my group got an A on. I SWEAR my professor had something against me. He was one of the most arrogant professors I have EVER had. UGH. But thankfully I passed sociology. After the final, I broke down again in my room about the accusation and I couldn’t do anything about it. I had spoken to my prof right after the final since he was going on Sabbatical and he said to me, “There’s nothing you can do about it now”. I emailed the deans and they couldn’t do anything about it either since my prof didn’t file charges for it. So he won either way. FUCK HIM.

And no, I didn’t plagiarize. I wrote those 5 fucking pages myself, granted there were a few things that were incorrect fact and grammar wise, but it probably felt disjointed because I wrote it while under severe anxiety…. sigh.

So. I finish the semester with a straight B+ average except for sociology which I got C-.
I go home and do the bloodwork and they tell me that I have an inactive hypothyroid, so now I am being medicated for it for the rest of my life. Yay for getting my energy and life back??

Cape House Ornament

I had made quite a few of my gifts this year. I got a print of one of my photos for dad, made a necklace for my grandma, and one for my mom. I also busted my ass off this ornament.. its the cape house. My dad and I decided that she needed one so he helped me cut it out of wood and I painted it and decorated it.

On the tree 🙂
Just a bit disappointed that she never actually said she “loved it”. She was really happy with it and was pleased by it.

Maybe I expect too much from her…..
sometimes I feel like she takes things I make for her for granted, which usually makes me not want to make anything at all..she seemed to like this starfish bowl I got her more. Sigh.