For the first time in my waking life I won’t be going back to school. This is odd and a tad frightening. For my entire life it seemed like I’d be always be going to school. Always be doing homework. Always be dealing with stupid drama with friends. Always loosing friends due to stupid drama. Always changing friendship circles. While moving back to Massachusetts has been just as bad as I feared I’m a tad afraid of how I’ll manage to get through the fall, let alone the winter.

I tried so hard to find a job right after college so I can avoid being at home with nothing to do. But alas, that plan has failed.

My mood and confidence is totally affected by my environment. While instead of staying in Wellesley all summer, part of it has been spent on Cape Cod. Which is totally fine with me. I love cape cod. But I’ve been a bit isolated. Many of the people who I hung out occasionally with graduated college and moved out of my hometown. And I’m afraid by being six hours away the connections I had made won’t be as strong.

If I end up getting the job in Flourtown all my fears will be put to rest and I’ll be a happy person again. While Wellesley isn’t a bad town, its just a town that doesn’t fit my personality. I’m not preppy, I’m not all too social, or in a family that has boatloads of money. I’m considered just little above average in Wellesley and that’s saying a lot.

Once I get that job I can move onward with my life and do what I want to do with it.

My biggest fear is not finding employment and not getting what I want out of life.